1 00:00:03,471 --> 00:00:05,739 "Cheers" is filmed before A live studio audience. 2 00:00:05,806 --> 00:00:08,109 Who's the lovely Lady sam's Talking to? 3 00:00:08,176 --> 00:00:10,311 Another applicant For the waitress job. 4 00:00:10,378 --> 00:00:12,613 It isn't easy for him Probably to find someone 5 00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:15,483 To work for the wages He pays you, huh? 6 00:00:15,549 --> 00:00:19,787 With tips I clear about 500 bucks a week, clavin. 7 00:00:23,391 --> 00:00:25,826 That can't be right. Is it? 8 00:00:25,893 --> 00:00:27,161 I did her taxes. 9 00:00:27,228 --> 00:00:28,962 You mean to tell me A federal employee, 10 00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:33,167 Entrusted with the most noble And vital service Of our society, 11 00:00:33,234 --> 00:00:35,469 Makes less money Than some wench 12 00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:37,971 Who serves beer To slobs on bar stools? 13 00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:39,940 Makes sense to me, Cliffie. 14 00:00:40,007 --> 00:00:41,342 No, really. 15 00:00:41,409 --> 00:00:45,546 I could go up To three days Or so without mail. 16 00:00:51,419 --> 00:00:54,054 * makin' your way In the world today * 17 00:00:54,122 --> 00:00:57,091 * takes everything You've got * 18 00:00:57,158 --> 00:00:59,793 * takin' a break From all your worries * 19 00:00:59,860 --> 00:01:01,829 * sure would help a lot * 20 00:01:03,197 --> 00:01:06,534 * wouldn't you like To get away? * 21 00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:11,205 * sometimes You wanna go * 22 00:01:11,272 --> 00:01:14,575 * where everybody Knows your name * 23 00:01:16,444 --> 00:01:20,080 * and they're always Glad you came * 24 00:01:21,215 --> 00:01:23,384 * you wanna be Where you can see * 25 00:01:23,451 --> 00:01:26,220 * our troubles Are all the same * 26 00:01:26,287 --> 00:01:31,392 * you wanna be where Everybody knows your name * 27 00:01:31,459 --> 00:01:33,894 * you wanna go Where people know * 28 00:01:33,961 --> 00:01:36,397 * people are all the same * 29 00:01:36,464 --> 00:01:41,169 * you wanna go where Everybody knows your name * 30 00:02:00,854 --> 00:02:04,792 Ok. Here, Carla, I'd like You to meet sydney. 31 00:02:04,858 --> 00:02:05,826 Hi. 32 00:02:05,893 --> 00:02:07,195 Sydney Is an applicant 33 00:02:07,261 --> 00:02:09,197 For our waitress Opening. 34 00:02:09,263 --> 00:02:10,498 Well, she passed My interview With flying colors, 35 00:02:10,564 --> 00:02:12,200 And pending Your approval, 36 00:02:12,266 --> 00:02:13,901 I'd like to Start her This afternoon. 37 00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:17,705 Have you had any experience Serving the public? 38 00:02:17,771 --> 00:02:19,407 You mean dressed? 39 00:02:21,709 --> 00:02:23,177 Take a hike, sydney. 40 00:02:24,278 --> 00:02:26,214 Well, I'll call you This afternoon 41 00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:28,216 To see how You're doing. 42 00:02:28,282 --> 00:02:29,517 Oh, thank you, sam. You're a very nice man. 43 00:02:29,583 --> 00:02:31,018 Well, you're very Nice, too, sydney. 44 00:02:31,084 --> 00:02:33,854 I know we've only Known each other A few minutes, 45 00:02:33,921 --> 00:02:36,824 But, well, I feel We've known each Other all day. 46 00:02:36,890 --> 00:02:38,226 Yeah. Me, too. 47 00:02:38,292 --> 00:02:39,560 You take care. 48 00:02:39,627 --> 00:02:44,232 You know, sam, When diane left for europe-- 49 00:02:44,298 --> 00:02:45,866 Thank you, god-- 50 00:02:45,933 --> 00:02:48,236 You promised that You were gonna hire An actual waitress, 51 00:02:48,302 --> 00:02:51,339 Not one of these girls That you love and leave. 52 00:02:51,405 --> 00:02:52,540 They're bad for business. 53 00:02:52,606 --> 00:02:54,475 They never last For more than a week, 54 00:02:54,542 --> 00:02:56,477 And I end up Doing all the work. 55 00:02:56,544 --> 00:02:58,246 Well, that's why I'm allowing you 56 00:02:58,312 --> 00:03:00,248 To give your approval Before I hire them, 57 00:03:00,314 --> 00:03:01,815 But you don't have To be so damn picky. 58 00:03:01,882 --> 00:03:04,718 All I want is Someone who doesn't Make us both think 59 00:03:04,785 --> 00:03:07,921 Of the word "Boob" At the same time. 60 00:03:10,324 --> 00:03:11,559 What is this, ibm? 61 00:03:11,625 --> 00:03:13,494 Come on, let's not Argue about this. 62 00:03:13,561 --> 00:03:15,429 I'm sure we can Find somebody 63 00:03:15,496 --> 00:03:17,765 That's gonna make us Both happy. 64 00:03:17,831 --> 00:03:19,032 Ah, brenda wood. 65 00:03:19,099 --> 00:03:20,268 Hi. 66 00:03:20,334 --> 00:03:22,270 That's me. 67 00:03:22,336 --> 00:03:23,571 Hi there, brenda. Come on down here 68 00:03:23,637 --> 00:03:26,574 And let's take a look At your application. 69 00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:29,577 Oh. Well, I see that your Turn-ons include 70 00:03:29,643 --> 00:03:32,280 Banana daiquiris By a fireside 71 00:03:32,346 --> 00:03:35,283 And men In tight jeans. 72 00:03:35,349 --> 00:03:36,784 You're cute. 73 00:03:36,850 --> 00:03:37,918 Well, I'm sold. 74 00:03:37,985 --> 00:03:39,520 Why don't you Just come right Over here. 75 00:03:39,587 --> 00:03:41,689 Carla, I'd like You to meet Brenda. 76 00:03:41,755 --> 00:03:42,723 Beat it, brenda. 77 00:03:42,790 --> 00:03:43,724 But, sam. 78 00:03:43,791 --> 00:03:45,125 You heard me, honey. 79 00:03:45,192 --> 00:03:47,728 Back to the bimbo Union hall. 80 00:03:49,196 --> 00:03:50,764 Gosh darn it, Brenda. 81 00:03:50,831 --> 00:03:52,300 I guess carla Just thought you Were overqualified. 82 00:03:52,366 --> 00:03:54,302 You know What might ease 83 00:03:54,368 --> 00:03:57,305 That sting Of rejection You're feeling now? 84 00:03:57,371 --> 00:03:58,539 What would happen If I slip into 85 00:03:58,606 --> 00:04:00,641 Some tight jeans This weekend 86 00:04:00,708 --> 00:04:03,811 And had you over To my place for A banana daiquiri? 87 00:04:03,877 --> 00:04:05,613 Do you have a fireplace? 88 00:04:05,679 --> 00:04:08,816 No, but I Got a sofa That's flammable. 89 00:04:08,882 --> 00:04:10,318 That would be fine. 90 00:04:10,384 --> 00:04:12,520 All right. You Take care now. 91 00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:13,521 Bye-bye. 92 00:04:15,389 --> 00:04:17,090 So the search Continues, huh, Sammy? 93 00:04:17,157 --> 00:04:19,327 Yeah. Boy, It's tough being me. 94 00:04:20,428 --> 00:04:21,662 Ok. Lillian huxley. 95 00:04:21,729 --> 00:04:24,097 How do you do, Mr. Malone? 96 00:04:24,164 --> 00:04:26,934 Hi, lillian. Boy, Thank you very much For coming down. 97 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:29,337 Unfortunately, this Position has been Filled already. 98 00:04:29,403 --> 00:04:30,804 I tell you what, Though, 99 00:04:30,871 --> 00:04:32,373 We'll keep Your resume on file. 100 00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:34,174 Freeze, slimeball! 101 00:04:34,241 --> 00:04:35,776 Yes, carla? 102 00:04:35,843 --> 00:04:38,612 You letch. This is The best resume I've ever seen. 103 00:04:38,679 --> 00:04:40,681 Look at These references. 104 00:04:40,748 --> 00:04:43,784 She's been Schlepping booze For 25 years. 105 00:04:43,851 --> 00:04:46,286 And my turn-ons Include hunting dogs, 106 00:04:46,354 --> 00:04:48,689 Thackeray, And welch rarebit. 107 00:04:48,756 --> 00:04:50,991 She's exactly What we need. 108 00:04:51,058 --> 00:04:52,860 She's a career Waitress. 109 00:04:52,926 --> 00:04:53,994 You are? 110 00:04:54,061 --> 00:04:55,529 Oh, that I am, Mr. Malone. 111 00:04:55,596 --> 00:04:57,331 You see, I'm one of Those fortunate people 112 00:04:57,398 --> 00:05:01,001 Who felt the irresistible tug Of their true calling Early in life. 113 00:05:01,068 --> 00:05:02,269 When I was but 18, 114 00:05:02,336 --> 00:05:07,007 I filled in one day For a maid at a pub. 115 00:05:07,074 --> 00:05:08,442 Excuse me. I realized that day 116 00:05:08,509 --> 00:05:11,812 That I could have no happier Or finer destiny in store 117 00:05:11,879 --> 00:05:14,815 Than distributing refreshments In a public house. 118 00:05:14,882 --> 00:05:18,452 Through the years I've led many a ruckus, I do a bawdy song, 119 00:05:18,519 --> 00:05:21,889 And countless times Offered my shoulder to cry on. 120 00:05:21,955 --> 00:05:24,825 But never once have I Regretted my decision. 121 00:05:24,892 --> 00:05:27,327 I shall consider My life well spent 122 00:05:27,395 --> 00:05:30,063 If it can be honestly Carved on my gravestone, 123 00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:34,001 "Lillian huxley never Kept a thirsty man Waiting for his ale, 124 00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:39,206 And she always brought him A wee bit more than a pint." 125 00:05:39,272 --> 00:05:40,541 Oh, bravo! 126 00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:50,484 I'm not too sure I like her attitude. 127 00:06:04,131 --> 00:06:05,232 Oh! 128 00:06:05,298 --> 00:06:07,067 [speaking italian] 129 00:06:07,134 --> 00:06:08,869 [speaking italian] 130 00:06:08,936 --> 00:06:11,371 Your heat control Is over there. 131 00:06:11,439 --> 00:06:13,373 And if you Need anything, 132 00:06:13,441 --> 00:06:15,709 Please, just call The front desk. 133 00:06:15,776 --> 00:06:18,311 Thank you very much. That will be all. 134 00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:20,080 Grazie, grazie. 135 00:06:20,147 --> 00:06:23,383 200,000 lire-- 136 00:06:23,451 --> 00:06:25,519 That's about right, Right? 137 00:06:27,154 --> 00:06:28,321 Grazie, signori. 138 00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:29,322 Prego. 139 00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:30,758 Grazie. 140 00:06:33,461 --> 00:06:35,896 Frasier, a letter From cheers. 141 00:06:35,963 --> 00:06:38,398 Oh, wait. It's not a letter. 142 00:06:38,466 --> 00:06:42,102 It's a lillian huxley's Resume. 143 00:06:43,471 --> 00:06:44,905 And it's signed, 144 00:06:44,972 --> 00:06:48,576 "Ha ha! You're Out of here forever." 145 00:06:48,642 --> 00:06:52,045 It's always nice To hear from carla. 146 00:06:52,112 --> 00:06:54,548 Diane, Cheers is thousands Of miles away. 147 00:06:54,615 --> 00:06:56,884 Why don't we just Leave them 148 00:06:56,950 --> 00:06:59,252 On the other side Of the great ocean, Shall we? 149 00:06:59,319 --> 00:07:00,253 Of course. 150 00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:01,555 I love you. 151 00:07:01,622 --> 00:07:03,256 Me, too, diane. 152 00:07:03,323 --> 00:07:05,493 Did I just Hear you say 153 00:07:05,559 --> 00:07:07,495 That you tipped That bellboy 200,000 lire? 154 00:07:07,561 --> 00:07:09,497 Yes, what is that, About a dollar or two? 155 00:07:09,563 --> 00:07:11,164 This inflated currency Is so ridiculous. 156 00:07:11,231 --> 00:07:12,666 I keep expecting A bum to walk up 157 00:07:12,733 --> 00:07:16,069 And ask For a million lire For a cup of coffee. 158 00:07:16,136 --> 00:07:21,542 You tipped the man $100 to bring our Bags 8 feet. 159 00:07:21,609 --> 00:07:23,076 Are you sure? 160 00:07:23,143 --> 00:07:25,579 Oh, well, This will get A hearty laugh 161 00:07:25,646 --> 00:07:28,281 From the folks At the institute. 162 00:07:28,348 --> 00:07:30,283 Just explain it to him. 163 00:07:30,350 --> 00:07:31,585 I'm sure He'll understand. 164 00:07:31,652 --> 00:07:33,687 You mean go down There and get it Back? 165 00:07:33,754 --> 00:07:35,656 What else, my angel? 166 00:07:35,723 --> 00:07:39,159 Well, these people Think so little Of americans as it is. 167 00:07:39,226 --> 00:07:41,328 I'll go. 168 00:07:41,394 --> 00:07:42,863 No, no, no. 169 00:07:42,930 --> 00:07:45,232 If I sent a woman, They'd think even Less of me. 170 00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:46,534 I'll do it. 171 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:48,636 Oh, my brave Little tourist. 172 00:07:48,702 --> 00:07:50,538 Yes. I guess It's time 173 00:07:50,604 --> 00:07:53,541 To nip this thing In the bud. 174 00:07:53,607 --> 00:07:55,175 [knock on door] 175 00:07:55,242 --> 00:07:56,209 Come in. 176 00:07:57,410 --> 00:07:59,747 [speaking at once] 177 00:08:07,621 --> 00:08:10,824 * johnny will go to sleep * 178 00:08:10,891 --> 00:08:15,228 * in his own Little room again * 179 00:08:16,630 --> 00:08:21,468 * there'll be Bluebirds over * 180 00:08:21,535 --> 00:08:26,574 * the white cliffs Of dover * 181 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:29,743 * tomorrow * 182 00:08:29,810 --> 00:08:36,283 * when the world Is free * 183 00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:38,986 Yay! Yo! 184 00:08:39,052 --> 00:08:41,989 Let's sing Don't dilly dally On the way. 185 00:08:42,055 --> 00:08:43,891 No, no. I'm tired Of that one. 186 00:08:43,957 --> 00:08:45,392 How about a little... * knees above Their brow * 187 00:08:45,458 --> 00:08:46,560 Yeah! Yeah! 188 00:08:46,627 --> 00:08:49,196 I'm afraid I'm too overcome. 189 00:08:49,262 --> 00:08:51,398 All right, let's Sell some beers Around here. 190 00:08:51,464 --> 00:08:53,266 I'll take two. All righty. 191 00:08:54,802 --> 00:08:57,404 Oh, my aching back. 192 00:08:57,470 --> 00:08:59,940 My postal career Is over. 193 00:09:00,007 --> 00:09:00,741 Ooh! 194 00:09:00,808 --> 00:09:02,375 Cliff, you Look terrible. 195 00:09:02,442 --> 00:09:03,811 Yeah, yeah. 196 00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:06,614 Was today Sears catalogue day? 197 00:09:08,816 --> 00:09:10,751 Yeah, and that's not all. 198 00:09:10,818 --> 00:09:14,722 Spiegel catalogue Came out at the same time. 199 00:09:14,788 --> 00:09:18,225 It's a phenomenon that happens Once every 27 years 200 00:09:18,291 --> 00:09:21,428 When both marketing strategies Are in the same equinox. 201 00:09:21,494 --> 00:09:24,431 Come here, you great Silly sausage. 202 00:09:24,497 --> 00:09:26,133 What's going on? 203 00:09:26,199 --> 00:09:28,135 Now, hush, pet, hush. 204 00:09:28,201 --> 00:09:29,436 Fear not. 205 00:09:29,502 --> 00:09:31,138 Uh, ooh! 206 00:09:31,204 --> 00:09:33,140 1...2... 207 00:09:33,206 --> 00:09:34,307 [crack] 208 00:09:37,044 --> 00:09:37,978 Ahh. 209 00:09:39,512 --> 00:09:41,081 Ahh. 210 00:09:41,148 --> 00:09:41,915 Hey! 211 00:09:41,982 --> 00:09:43,951 Lillian, thank you Very much. 212 00:09:44,017 --> 00:09:47,454 I feel like grabbing Every woman in the joint 213 00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:48,756 And just dancing. 214 00:09:48,822 --> 00:09:51,258 How much To put him back The way he was? 215 00:09:51,324 --> 00:09:54,261 Now carla, I've Got customers To serve. 216 00:09:54,327 --> 00:09:57,464 Well, sammy, lillian's Week is almost up. 217 00:09:57,530 --> 00:10:00,467 Are you going To be keeping her on? 218 00:10:00,533 --> 00:10:01,869 I'm just dying Of curiosity. 219 00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:03,637 I big enough To admit when I'm wrong. 220 00:10:03,704 --> 00:10:05,105 She's A terrific waitress. 221 00:10:05,172 --> 00:10:07,374 Customers love her. She's absolutely Perfect. 222 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:08,842 Yeah, And the best part is 223 00:10:08,909 --> 00:10:10,210 There's no chance Of any romantic complications 224 00:10:10,277 --> 00:10:11,478 To screw things up. 225 00:10:11,544 --> 00:10:13,246 Oh, god, amen. 226 00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:14,481 Boy, no more sex stuff 227 00:10:14,547 --> 00:10:16,549 With anybody even Remotely connected With this bar. 228 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:17,851 Promise? 229 00:10:17,918 --> 00:10:20,287 On my honor as A great-looking Human being. 230 00:10:20,353 --> 00:10:22,489 Anyway, I think I've just Seen the woman 231 00:10:22,555 --> 00:10:25,558 In whose arms I hope to die. 232 00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:27,995 Ooh. Hi there. 233 00:10:28,061 --> 00:10:29,830 Allow me To introduce myself. 234 00:10:29,897 --> 00:10:33,066 I'm sam malone-- The next great love Of your life. 235 00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:35,235 I've heard You yanks were bold. 236 00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:38,238 Oh, my good-- You know, you sound Exactly like... 237 00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:39,439 Carolyn! 238 00:10:39,506 --> 00:10:40,440 Mummy! 239 00:10:40,507 --> 00:10:41,441 Sam. 240 00:10:41,508 --> 00:10:42,976 Carla... 241 00:10:56,189 --> 00:10:59,026 Your mother Never told me She had a daughter. 242 00:10:59,092 --> 00:11:02,529 She never told me She had such a handsome boss. 243 00:11:02,595 --> 00:11:04,264 Aw, shucks. 244 00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:07,500 Carolyn's visiting Her old mummy For a few days. 245 00:11:07,567 --> 00:11:08,936 Hey, lillian, You're up here. 246 00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:10,537 Oh. Excuse me, dears, 247 00:11:10,603 --> 00:11:13,273 I must go and teach This bloke how to Play a proper darts. 248 00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:15,943 I'll be back In an embarrassingly Short time. 249 00:11:18,311 --> 00:11:20,247 So, carolyn... 250 00:11:20,313 --> 00:11:21,982 How do you Like boston 251 00:11:22,049 --> 00:11:24,484 Now that you've Seen the sight? 252 00:11:24,551 --> 00:11:25,853 I love it. 253 00:11:25,919 --> 00:11:27,354 Sam, could I talk To you? 254 00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:28,922 Not now. Now. 255 00:11:28,989 --> 00:11:30,557 Carla, I'm on final approach 256 00:11:30,623 --> 00:11:32,793 And I've been cleared For landing, you know What I mean? 257 00:11:32,860 --> 00:11:35,863 Haul your butt Over here now, Sky king. 258 00:11:37,564 --> 00:11:39,499 Excuse me for a moment. 259 00:11:39,566 --> 00:11:40,834 Yeah, what? 260 00:11:40,901 --> 00:11:42,235 If you Take carolyn out, 261 00:11:42,302 --> 00:11:44,171 It's gonna go bad Like always. 262 00:11:44,237 --> 00:11:47,741 And you are gonna lose The best waitresses You've ever had. 263 00:11:47,808 --> 00:11:49,309 Carla, I hardly-- 264 00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:52,512 I'm warning you, sam. You go out with her, And I quit. 265 00:11:52,579 --> 00:11:53,781 Oh, you don't mean that. 266 00:11:53,847 --> 00:11:54,915 Yeah? Try me. 267 00:11:54,982 --> 00:11:56,416 Ok, ok. All right. 268 00:11:56,483 --> 00:11:58,952 As far as I'm concerned, Carolyn's off limits. 269 00:11:59,019 --> 00:12:00,788 That's your brain Talking, sam. 270 00:12:00,854 --> 00:12:02,756 I would like to hear From the part of Your body 271 00:12:02,823 --> 00:12:04,992 That does The thinking. 272 00:12:07,427 --> 00:12:09,096 It's in agreement 2. 273 00:12:10,864 --> 00:12:13,834 I'm sorry to be such A miserable host here. 274 00:12:13,901 --> 00:12:17,237 So you're From england, huh? 275 00:12:17,304 --> 00:12:20,473 Yes. I'm just in the states For a few days 276 00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:23,343 To shoot a layout For british vogue. 277 00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:25,145 Oh, now, wait a second Here. I think that calls 278 00:12:25,212 --> 00:12:28,215 For a little of the old Welcome to the u.S. Champagne-- 279 00:12:28,281 --> 00:12:29,549 On the house. 280 00:12:29,616 --> 00:12:30,818 Oh, great. 281 00:12:30,884 --> 00:12:32,119 Yeah. A little of The old bubbly here. 282 00:12:32,185 --> 00:12:34,554 So you're a model, huh? 283 00:12:34,621 --> 00:12:36,356 Yes. I do lingerie mostly. 284 00:12:36,423 --> 00:12:39,860 You know--teddies, Merry widows, Garter belts. 285 00:12:39,927 --> 00:12:41,594 This is my portfolio. 286 00:12:41,661 --> 00:12:44,197 I'll give you $1,000 for it. 287 00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:47,567 I don't know if I want Any of you to look at it. 288 00:12:47,634 --> 00:12:49,569 I only brought it in To show mummy. 289 00:12:49,636 --> 00:12:51,939 Aw... Aw... Aw... 290 00:12:52,005 --> 00:12:53,306 Oh, now, Come on, you guys. 291 00:12:53,373 --> 00:12:54,842 Come on, come on. Give her a little Privacy. 292 00:12:54,908 --> 00:12:56,076 Well, I suppose It won't do any harm. 293 00:12:56,143 --> 00:12:58,778 Well, all right. Here we go. 294 00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:02,682 Mm-hmm. 295 00:13:02,749 --> 00:13:05,518 That's a very Interesting shot. I like that one. 296 00:13:05,585 --> 00:13:08,889 Oh, that's nice. That's nice lighting On that one. 297 00:13:08,956 --> 00:13:12,092 Bet they used An f-stop On that one, huh? 298 00:13:13,393 --> 00:13:16,463 Oh, now, see, I like the composition On that one. 299 00:13:16,529 --> 00:13:18,465 What are those, ducks? 300 00:13:18,531 --> 00:13:21,068 Mmm, yes, that's right. 301 00:13:22,269 --> 00:13:25,672 Oh, I really didn't want To do this one nude, 302 00:13:25,738 --> 00:13:27,240 But you know how... 303 00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:30,443 No, no. I think It's very tasteful. 304 00:13:30,510 --> 00:13:32,312 It makes a point, I think. 305 00:13:32,379 --> 00:13:34,647 Sammy. The ice. 306 00:13:34,714 --> 00:13:35,916 Oh! 307 00:13:35,983 --> 00:13:37,750 Um...Thank you Very much. 308 00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:40,753 Um...Will you just Give me a second here? 309 00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:42,455 I'll be right back. 310 00:13:45,625 --> 00:13:49,096 Carla, can I speak To you for a moment Here? 311 00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:51,731 Remember that Conversation we had A minute ago 312 00:13:51,798 --> 00:13:54,267 Right over there About me not going Out with carolyn? 313 00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:57,270 Can we just pretend That whole thing Never took place? 314 00:13:57,337 --> 00:13:59,472 You bet. I'll Just go pack my stuff. 315 00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:00,773 Nice knowing you. 316 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:01,975 Now, listen, Hey, come on. 317 00:14:02,042 --> 00:14:04,878 The lady is Coming on to me. 318 00:14:04,945 --> 00:14:08,081 If I resist, I could Damage some organs. 319 00:14:08,949 --> 00:14:10,884 I don't care. 320 00:14:10,951 --> 00:14:13,086 If you go out With her, I quit. 321 00:14:13,153 --> 00:14:14,454 Ok! All right, Ok, all right, fine. 322 00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:17,390 There are millions Of women on this planet. 323 00:14:17,457 --> 00:14:19,226 I can certainly forgo One of them. 324 00:14:20,260 --> 00:14:22,695 Kind of ironic, Though, isn't it, 325 00:14:22,762 --> 00:14:24,898 That she's the most Gorgeous one that I've ever seen, 326 00:14:24,965 --> 00:14:26,900 But, hey, that's life, That's life. 327 00:14:26,967 --> 00:14:28,368 That's all right. 328 00:14:28,435 --> 00:14:30,537 Sam, the champagne Is marvelous. 329 00:14:30,603 --> 00:14:33,974 You certainly know How to make a girl Feel welcome. 330 00:14:34,041 --> 00:14:35,475 What? No, that's nothing. 331 00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:37,044 I do that for everybody. 332 00:14:38,311 --> 00:14:40,880 She's really Coming on to sam, Isn't she? 333 00:14:40,948 --> 00:14:43,350 Sam. That's rich. 334 00:14:43,416 --> 00:14:46,853 Norm, your naiveté Amazes me. 335 00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:48,655 What are you Talking about? 336 00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:52,259 That woman, She's doing all this For my benefit. 337 00:14:52,325 --> 00:14:56,129 Notice how she's talking loud So I can hear everything. 338 00:14:56,196 --> 00:14:57,430 That woman wants me 339 00:14:57,497 --> 00:15:01,268 More than any woman Has wanted me before. 340 00:15:01,334 --> 00:15:04,471 Cliffie, sometimes You really scare me. 341 00:15:14,181 --> 00:15:17,117 Uh, sam, what about This cape cod place 342 00:15:17,184 --> 00:15:18,418 I've been hearing about? 343 00:15:18,485 --> 00:15:20,420 I hear that It's delightful 344 00:15:20,487 --> 00:15:24,091 And terribly romantic At this time of year. 345 00:15:24,157 --> 00:15:27,360 Oh, well, you know, I guess it could be, yeah. 346 00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:30,763 Tell me, Are there any clothing Optional beaches there? 347 00:15:30,830 --> 00:15:33,967 I like to get An all-over tan. 348 00:15:35,969 --> 00:15:39,406 Oh, I know It's a lot more common In europe than america, 349 00:15:39,472 --> 00:15:42,109 So I came prepared With a bikini, 350 00:15:42,175 --> 00:15:44,511 But it's such a skimpy Little thing anyway. 351 00:15:45,578 --> 00:15:46,613 Carla. 352 00:15:48,081 --> 00:15:50,017 I'm having a real Hard time with This map. 353 00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:52,652 I just can't make Head or tail of it. 354 00:15:52,719 --> 00:15:55,388 I really don't think I'm gonna be able to Find my way there. 355 00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:57,757 I'll take you. 356 00:15:57,824 --> 00:16:00,127 I'll take you. 357 00:16:00,193 --> 00:16:01,328 I'll take you. 358 00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:03,997 Oh, great. What a lovely surprise. 359 00:16:04,064 --> 00:16:06,033 I'll take you. 360 00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:10,537 I'll let carla go, And I'll take you. 361 00:16:10,603 --> 00:16:13,740 I'll turn this into A self-serve bar, 362 00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:15,875 And I'll take... 363 00:16:15,942 --> 00:16:17,344 When did you have in mind? 364 00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:20,547 I'll take you right now, Right this very minute. 365 00:16:20,613 --> 00:16:22,149 My car is outside. 366 00:16:22,215 --> 00:16:23,650 What the hell Is going on? 367 00:16:23,716 --> 00:16:26,486 Carla, I can explain this. 368 00:16:26,553 --> 00:16:27,887 You make me sick. 369 00:16:27,954 --> 00:16:29,556 I know, I know. 370 00:16:29,622 --> 00:16:30,890 I'll take you. 371 00:16:30,957 --> 00:16:31,924 Listen... 372 00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:33,093 Carla... 373 00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:34,461 I'm a weak man. 374 00:16:34,527 --> 00:16:37,464 Someday, I will find A cure for what I have, 375 00:16:37,530 --> 00:16:40,433 But please, Let me have this. 376 00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,435 Oh, sam. 377 00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:45,372 Hey, come on, please Don't make me beg, carla. 378 00:16:45,438 --> 00:16:48,575 Tell your mummy Not to make me beg. 379 00:16:48,641 --> 00:16:50,043 Get up! Oh! 380 00:16:50,110 --> 00:16:51,678 Is that a yes? 381 00:16:51,744 --> 00:16:53,480 At least She's not diane. 382 00:16:53,546 --> 00:16:56,683 Look, I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what. 383 00:16:56,749 --> 00:16:58,085 What? 384 00:16:58,151 --> 00:16:59,419 You go tell lillian 385 00:16:59,486 --> 00:17:01,054 That you're Gonna take her Daughter out. 386 00:17:01,121 --> 00:17:03,090 If she says it's ok, I'll stick around For a while. 387 00:17:03,156 --> 00:17:04,557 Is that all? Oh, I'll do it. 388 00:17:04,624 --> 00:17:06,226 I'll make you So proud of me. 389 00:17:06,293 --> 00:17:08,295 Just One more minute. 390 00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:10,097 Have one more For the bed-- 391 00:17:10,163 --> 00:17:11,731 The beach-- The road. 392 00:17:11,798 --> 00:17:14,367 Lillian, lillian, Can I see you in my Office for a minute? 393 00:17:14,434 --> 00:17:16,969 Certainly. Back in a jiffy, Darling. 394 00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:18,471 Oh, super, mummy. 395 00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:20,573 Carolyn's Filling out nicely, Don't you think? 396 00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:21,808 Mm-hmm. 397 00:17:24,677 --> 00:17:26,012 Lillian, 398 00:17:26,079 --> 00:17:28,615 I got A problem here. 399 00:17:28,681 --> 00:17:29,782 In the past, 400 00:17:29,849 --> 00:17:32,785 I've gotten Into trouble With my waitresses 401 00:17:32,852 --> 00:17:34,954 By getting Romantically Involved with them. 402 00:17:35,021 --> 00:17:36,989 Now you are a Fantastic waitress. 403 00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:39,992 I do not want To do anything To lose you. 404 00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:41,961 Don't say another word. 405 00:17:42,028 --> 00:17:43,963 I understand you completely. 406 00:17:44,030 --> 00:17:44,997 You do? 407 00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,099 Of course. 408 00:17:46,166 --> 00:17:47,767 Hey, thank you. 409 00:17:47,834 --> 00:17:50,370 I just wanted to-- well, I just wanted to get Your approval first. 410 00:17:50,437 --> 00:17:53,140 Oh, sam, how can you Be so civilized 411 00:17:53,206 --> 00:17:56,176 When your very blood Is boiling? 412 00:17:59,011 --> 00:18:03,015 Don't you think I haven't been feeling The same urges? 413 00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:04,484 Don't you think 414 00:18:04,551 --> 00:18:07,320 I haven't felt the same Unconquerable chemistry? 415 00:18:07,387 --> 00:18:09,556 Don't you think That denying ourselves 416 00:18:09,622 --> 00:18:11,691 Hasn't been As treacherous for me 417 00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:14,261 As it has for you? 418 00:18:15,462 --> 00:18:17,096 That is what you meant, Isn't it? 419 00:18:17,164 --> 00:18:20,333 You bet. No, no, um... 420 00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:22,535 This whole thing Just kind of Snuck up on me, 421 00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:24,137 That's all. 422 00:18:24,204 --> 00:18:29,476 Well, I won't pretend This hasn't happened To me before. 423 00:18:29,542 --> 00:18:33,346 Spend any amount of time In a man's presence, 424 00:18:33,413 --> 00:18:36,349 And I send out A sort of... 425 00:18:36,416 --> 00:18:38,050 Well, let's face it, 426 00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:39,419 Erotic signals. 427 00:18:44,857 --> 00:18:48,027 Would you-- Would you wait here For just a minute? 428 00:18:48,094 --> 00:18:50,563 I need to talk To carla. 429 00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:51,498 Carla? 430 00:18:51,564 --> 00:18:54,201 Yeah, uh... Carla is the person 431 00:18:54,267 --> 00:18:55,702 That I usually... 432 00:18:55,768 --> 00:18:57,337 Trust me. 433 00:18:57,404 --> 00:18:58,671 Oh, so, sam, Are you ready 434 00:18:58,738 --> 00:19:01,274 To take me down To that cape of yours? 435 00:19:01,341 --> 00:19:02,809 One minute, just one Minute more. 436 00:19:02,875 --> 00:19:04,711 What happened, And I already know It's bad. 437 00:19:04,777 --> 00:19:06,913 No, no. It's worse than you think. 438 00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:08,848 Lillian thought that I Wanted to go out with her. 439 00:19:08,915 --> 00:19:11,651 She's sitting in there With a case of third-degree Sammies. 440 00:19:11,718 --> 00:19:13,720 I knew it. I knew it. 441 00:19:13,786 --> 00:19:15,222 Don't panic, will you? Just trust me! 442 00:19:15,288 --> 00:19:16,923 I can handle this. 443 00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:18,658 We need a solution. 444 00:19:18,725 --> 00:19:20,126 I can always fall back On the truth, I guess. 445 00:19:20,193 --> 00:19:21,561 Oh, no, you can't Do that. Uh-uh. 446 00:19:21,628 --> 00:19:24,264 If you tell her that You're not interested Now, 447 00:19:24,331 --> 00:19:25,865 She's gonna get hurt And quit. 448 00:19:25,932 --> 00:19:28,368 If she gets hurt And quits, 449 00:19:28,435 --> 00:19:30,370 I'll be hurt and quit. If I get hurt and quit, 450 00:19:30,437 --> 00:19:33,005 Then you'll be As good as dead. 451 00:19:33,072 --> 00:19:35,375 Oh, boy. What am I going to do? 452 00:19:35,442 --> 00:19:37,677 My mind doesn't Work like this. 453 00:19:37,744 --> 00:19:40,880 It's trained to get Women into bed. 454 00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:44,351 What would diane do? 455 00:19:44,417 --> 00:19:46,553 Talk till we puke. 456 00:19:46,619 --> 00:19:47,620 Probably. 457 00:19:49,356 --> 00:19:51,591 I got it. I got it. 458 00:19:51,658 --> 00:19:54,427 Lillian is smarter Than us, right? Mm-hmm. 459 00:19:54,494 --> 00:19:57,364 You go in there And tell her, 460 00:19:57,430 --> 00:20:00,066 "Lillian, we can't Do this because... 461 00:20:00,132 --> 00:20:01,368 Well, you know." 462 00:20:01,434 --> 00:20:03,069 No, I don't. 463 00:20:03,135 --> 00:20:04,871 No, sam, That's what you say. 464 00:20:04,937 --> 00:20:08,375 She'll think of something And fill in the rest. 465 00:20:08,441 --> 00:20:09,609 Oh, that's brilliant! That's brilliant! 466 00:20:09,676 --> 00:20:12,078 How does the part go That I say again? 467 00:20:12,144 --> 00:20:14,281 "We can't Do this because... 468 00:20:14,347 --> 00:20:15,615 Well, you know." 469 00:20:15,682 --> 00:20:16,949 No, I don't. I wouldn't be Asking you 470 00:20:17,016 --> 00:20:19,819 To repeat it If I did. 471 00:20:21,020 --> 00:20:23,122 Oh, right, right, right. 472 00:20:23,189 --> 00:20:24,757 That's perfect. 473 00:20:26,693 --> 00:20:28,828 Sam, my dear, You're damp. 474 00:20:28,895 --> 00:20:31,564 A sweat of passion. 475 00:20:31,631 --> 00:20:32,565 Oh, sam. 476 00:20:32,632 --> 00:20:33,633 Lillian... 477 00:20:33,700 --> 00:20:35,968 Lillian, we can't Do this because... 478 00:20:38,271 --> 00:20:39,772 Well, you know. 479 00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:43,610 Yes, I suppose I do. 480 00:20:43,676 --> 00:20:44,977 You do? 481 00:20:45,044 --> 00:20:46,346 Oh, god. 482 00:20:47,380 --> 00:20:48,848 Sam, Why are you dancing? 483 00:20:48,915 --> 00:20:51,784 Well, I just--I was relieved That I wasn't the only one 484 00:20:51,851 --> 00:20:55,054 Who knew why We couldn't do this. 485 00:20:55,121 --> 00:20:56,423 Oh, no, no. 486 00:20:56,489 --> 00:20:58,057 I love this job. 487 00:20:58,124 --> 00:20:59,426 I need this job. 488 00:20:59,492 --> 00:21:00,860 Carla needs me So much. 489 00:21:00,927 --> 00:21:03,596 I'd miss all these Wonderful people. 490 00:21:03,663 --> 00:21:07,434 Sam, we must try To preserve a proper Working relationship 491 00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:10,603 No matter What the pain. 492 00:21:10,670 --> 00:21:14,641 I--it's sad. I mean, it's... 493 00:21:14,707 --> 00:21:16,476 So very sad. 494 00:21:16,543 --> 00:21:19,479 Buck up, sam. I'm sure it's All for the best. 495 00:21:19,546 --> 00:21:22,181 You're young and Not so schooled 496 00:21:22,248 --> 00:21:24,183 In the ways of love As I. 497 00:21:24,250 --> 00:21:25,718 Such a coupling Could be fatal. 498 00:21:25,785 --> 00:21:27,520 Unfortunately, 499 00:21:27,587 --> 00:21:29,856 I've already had Two husbands Die in bed. 500 00:21:31,891 --> 00:21:33,259 Oh, I'm sorry. 501 00:21:33,326 --> 00:21:35,261 What did they die of? 502 00:21:35,328 --> 00:21:36,629 You child. 503 00:21:38,931 --> 00:21:39,832 Really? 504 00:21:39,899 --> 00:21:42,969 Yes, they fainted, Which all my men do, 505 00:21:43,035 --> 00:21:45,805 But they never came to. 506 00:21:45,872 --> 00:21:48,608 They fainted? 507 00:21:48,675 --> 00:21:50,643 You're saying That that's normal? 508 00:21:50,710 --> 00:21:53,346 Well, I don't want To gloat, 509 00:21:53,413 --> 00:21:56,082 But yes, It has been known. 510 00:21:57,484 --> 00:21:59,151 Were these, uh... 511 00:21:59,218 --> 00:22:01,888 Were these healthy guys To begin with? 512 00:22:01,954 --> 00:22:04,891 Well, they Weren't athletes, Such as yourself, 513 00:22:04,957 --> 00:22:07,093 But they certainly Weren't weaklings. 514 00:22:07,159 --> 00:22:08,561 Why do you ask? 515 00:22:08,628 --> 00:22:13,232 Well, I was Just thinking that maybe... 516 00:22:13,299 --> 00:22:14,901 No, no, You're right. You're right. You're absolutely right. 517 00:22:14,967 --> 00:22:16,403 Back to work. 518 00:22:16,469 --> 00:22:18,705 Yes, we must get Back to work, Sammy. 519 00:22:18,771 --> 00:22:23,443 I don't want to Beat this thing To death here, 520 00:22:23,510 --> 00:22:27,714 But when these guys Went, were they, Like, smiling? 521 00:22:29,482 --> 00:22:31,083 Ear to ear. 522 00:22:32,151 --> 00:22:34,721 And that Was the grumpy one. 523 00:22:36,322 --> 00:22:37,757 I'll be darned. 524 00:22:40,159 --> 00:22:41,728 So, what happened? 525 00:22:42,629 --> 00:22:45,532 Everything's ok, I guess. 526 00:22:45,598 --> 00:22:48,735 Sam, are we ever Going to get To this cape? 527 00:22:48,801 --> 00:22:49,836 Hmm? Oh! 528 00:22:49,902 --> 00:22:50,803 Right. 529 00:22:50,870 --> 00:22:52,972 Yes, right, right, Right, right. 530 00:22:53,039 --> 00:22:55,875 So you're going to Take my daughter Sightseeing? 531 00:22:55,942 --> 00:22:58,678 Well, only if It's ok with you. 532 00:22:58,745 --> 00:23:02,549 I think It's an absolutely Wonderful idea. 533 00:23:04,250 --> 00:23:06,018 Besides, 534 00:23:06,085 --> 00:23:07,253 It will, uh... 535 00:23:07,319 --> 00:23:10,557 Take your mind off What you really want. 536 00:23:10,623 --> 00:23:12,792 Yeah, yeah, maybe, maybe. 537 00:23:12,859 --> 00:23:14,994 Well, carolyn, It's just you and me 538 00:23:15,061 --> 00:23:17,830 Off to The famous cape. 539 00:23:17,897 --> 00:23:19,566 Here we go. 540 00:23:19,632 --> 00:23:23,570 Do you mind if I ask you kind of A personal question? 541 00:23:23,636 --> 00:23:25,605 What's that? 542 00:23:25,672 --> 00:23:29,609 Can you tell me, How did your father die? 543 00:23:29,676 --> 00:23:32,579 Well, the coroner said It was a heart attack, 544 00:23:32,645 --> 00:23:33,946 But we all know 545 00:23:34,013 --> 00:23:37,016 It was mummy's passion That killed him. 546 00:23:40,419 --> 00:23:44,256 Well, that's-- That's tragic. 547 00:23:44,323 --> 00:23:45,658 Yes. 548 00:23:45,725 --> 00:23:48,695 I suppose that's Why I hate sex so. Mmm. 549 00:23:50,763 --> 00:23:54,400 The very idea Gives me the chills. 550 00:23:54,467 --> 00:23:56,469 Well, let's go. 551 00:24:00,940 --> 00:24:04,176 Didn't you-- Weren't you...